A two-part Cinderella story starring my sister, the Fairy Godmother of Shoes

There is no such thing as cheap shoes in my universe.   Which is what happens when a man with 9C feet makes babies with a woman who wears a7½ AAAA shoe. My sister somehow managed to dodge the narrow-footed bullet. She wears a nice, common size in a nice, common width. She also has amazing … Continue reading A two-part Cinderella story starring my sister, the Fairy Godmother of Shoes

First World White Lady Problems: An Open Letter to Trevor Noah (with photos)

Dear Trevor Noah: I hope you are taking good care of yourself and feeling better. But I feel moved to inform you that rescheduling your November 9th Milwaukee show threw me into full-on “First-World White Lady Existential Crisis” mode Bruised vocal cords are no joke. So I’m glad you stayed home and took care of yourself. … Continue reading First World White Lady Problems: An Open Letter to Trevor Noah (with photos)

Writing with one eye: diary entry of a neurologically unhappy quasi-cyclops

It’s been a long month. Two weeks ago I underwent a procedure most people call cataract surgery, which I have unilaterally nicknamed “extreme Lasik.” It has left me unsettled, crabby and neurologically unhappy. I know cataract surgery is different than Lasik. With Lasik, a medical professional reshapes your cornea using a laser. Cataract removal is when your cloudy … Continue reading Writing with one eye: diary entry of a neurologically unhappy quasi-cyclops

A little flow from the stream of consciousness, with music

Usually I slam out a blog post in a Word file and then transfer it over here to the wordpress template and tinker. Then, after I publish it I find more typos and things to tweak. This morning, though, I am going to slam down something spontaneous as John Gorka sings "St. Caffeine" and drink … Continue reading A little flow from the stream of consciousness, with music