It was eight years ago on January 9 that Mom called from California to tell me our cousin Debbie had died. She was with Aunt Freda, her older sister and Debbie's mother. This year is the first they’re all gone. Mom, Debbie & Aunt Freda, all z"l now. This was probably taken in the '80s. … Continue reading Loosening family knots: a look back at big losses, big gain and sister stuff
Category: caregiving
#RacistinRecovery 2018 is almost in the rear-view mirror. On that front, at least, I think I made some progress. Professionally, I attended a pre-conference workshop on dismantling institutional racism in libraries, and was able to do that beautiful fusion of personal and professional when I took a six-week class called “Unlearning Racism” at our local … Continue reading #RIR2018 exits stage left, chocolate cupcake flowers wave in the wind as #WJDisaggregation2019 makes its entrance
Mom died on February 25th. Her funeral was in Utica, New York; yesterday was her memorial service. This is the eulogy I wrote and read yesterday. Eulogy II The first Tuesday after Mom’s funeral, I woke up and, because it has been part of my waking-up ritual for what seems like forever (even though it … Continue reading Death: the most unlikely of happy endings or ‘Bossiest Eulogy Ever’
When The New York Times recently ran a front page story about China's effort to combat "gray rhinos" --large and obvious problems that are often ignored until they become crisis-- I was beyond excited to see one of my dearest friends getting some well-deserved props. Then I looked for the citation – because, after all, “The Gray Rhino: … Continue reading The ‘Gray Rhino’ moves into a nursing home; great experiences ensue
I will confess to not being terribly distressed to slam the door on 2015. Between the job layoff, sending my best non-human friend Tuki to the Rabbit Field in the Sky and my mother on a slow cruise to Dementia Island, it’s been – and continues to be – interesting times. Still, there have been … Continue reading New Business, Writer’s Block and Preventing Newborn Ignorance, One Baby at a Time
Yesterday Sweetheart's brother Tommy came over to help him do some excavating. I'm not sure what they got done, because I was busy fighting with myself over letting go of useless things I wanted to keep. Also, realizing that I was doing my own excavating while listening to Garbage made me feel a bit more cheerful. Cheerful, … Continue reading Repo Week – Day 5: I Can Dream, Can’t I?
It’s been a terrible week for the news business. Brian Williams has been handed a suspension without pay for six months, or as I’m calling it, “book leave.” Jon Stewart is leaving The Daily Show to have dinner with his kids. And Bob Simon, whose latest stop in a distinguished career was 60 Minutes, was … Continue reading Newsmakers make news, religious fanatics make trouble and Mom’s community hosts a Debbie Friedman event with a millennial twist
So, yesterday I took Mom to the neurologist. She’s been having more of these spells where one minute she’s fine, and the next she’s crumpling up like a boneless doll. They’re not pretty. The nurse practitioner at the nursing home where she lives thought it might be the Parkinson’s disease progressing, so we moved her … Continue reading Travels with Mom: a trip to the Neurologist
Like most working people in the US, where Christian culture is majority culture, I’d been looking forward to a couple of days off at Christmas. It’s not my holiday. But I get to partake of its best parts because Sweetheart’s family is a mashup of Lutherans, atheists who grew up as Lutherans & Catholics-by-choice. Sweetheart … Continue reading ‘I’m not big on long goodbyes’ or Death at Christmas
I have an old mother and an old dog. My dog lives with me. My mother lives in a nursing home four miles away, and I am her Primary Person. In the abstract, being Mom’s main person is a huge honor and I know full well how lucky I am to still have her. In reality, I’ve … Continue reading Old mothers, bad daughters, & therapeutic books
the sentence factory 